my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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