Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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