you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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