I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
