I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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