I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
