I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
