i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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