So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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