Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize