Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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