do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
When did angry sex become our thing?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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