Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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