we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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