Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
