Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
they're like a gay fantastic four
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
