This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
