redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
