i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
