This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
