I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
