Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I faked an abortion last night.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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