At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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