if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I have feelings that need drinking.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
