Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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