So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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