I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
