It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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