About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
handjob tips. give me some.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
