he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
