We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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