Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Nicole vs. Life
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
