He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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