Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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