btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
