Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
