Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
