Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
