you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you would pick up someone in the library
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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