You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
