I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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