Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
