I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
