I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
