i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
