Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
