You're my little dorito
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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