Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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