so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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