The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize