when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
