ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
