So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
