Those balls look pretty dangerous.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
