Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
