either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
