you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
